Como Conservatory versus ??

Minneapolitans take great pride in their parks. The city has an independently elected park board and has been a national leader on parks for decades. St. Paul, is not as well known for its excellent park system, but they do have their crown jewel: The Como Zoo and Conservatory.

Today, we look at the Como Park Marjorie McNeely Conservatory. The Como Conservatory is open year round and hosts thousands of tropical and other plants from around the world. It is stroller friendly. It is accessible. It is warm and humid even when outside is below zero. And best of all, it is free! (Although they do appreciate a two dollar donation if you can.)

If you want to look at orchids, watch gold fish swim among lilies, walk under huge ferns, take your senior pictures, or smell a stinking plant, Como is the place to go.

So what does Minneapolis have to compete? Well, for gardens there is the Longfellow Gardens. It's small though, and you can't go there in January. Or at least, you wouldn't get much out of it. Where can you go on a winter day in Minneapolis? The IDS Center's Crystal Court is warm, sunny and has a big fountain. It's free too. But the plants aren't all that plentiful or exotic.

Wait, Minneapolis does have a conservatory. The Cowles Conservatory is adjacent to the Minneapolis Sculpture Garden. You know, the place with the giant cherry on a giant spoon. The Cowles Conservatory is nice, but much smaller and much less known than the one over in St. Paul.

St. Paul wins.

Minneapolis: [6] / St. Paul: [4]

Parking ramps

The conventional wisdom on the reason downtown St. Paul has been able to retain many of its historic buildings while Minneapolis bulldozed them over, is that nobody has wanted to be in downtown St. Paul and hence no demand for modern buildings over the past few decades. The demand was in Minneapolis. The fact that St. Paul continues to be marred by high office vacancy rates (26% compared to Minneapolis's 16%) underscores this notion.

The upside for St. Paul, is that they have an historic downtown. It looks very nice and quaint.

One of the downsides is that it makes fitting modern needs into downtown a little more difficult. Parking ramps being one of those highly desirable modern conveniences.

Downtown St. Paul does have parking ramps. You just can never find them. But if you do find one, it will be full because of a Minnesota Wild game, an opera at the Ordway, or some high school tournament at the Xcel Center. Or, it may simply closed because it is the weekend or after 5:00 PM when the downtown officially closes.

Once in a St. Paul parking ramp, you may have to wander around a bit. Fitting the ramps among the historic buildings must have been a fun challenge for the architects, but it's a not-so-much-fun challenge for the people parking their cars. As you read this, you can be certain there are at least a dozen people driving around St. Paul ramps in circles, uncertain whether they will find an exit before they run out of gas. There are at least another three dozen people, who having parked their cars, are now desperately trying to find a doorway out of the ramp before they choke on the fumes of the cramped, poorly ventilated ramp.

If you have the good fortune of finding a ramp that is open, parking a car, being able to leave the ramp and return from your destination without getting lost, and have had the good sense to fill up on enough gas to be able to reach the exit, be sure you have cash. St. Paul ramps are also kickin' it old school in that they don't seem to believe in credit cards.

Over in Minneapolis, you should have a much easier time finding a ramp. The ramps are easier to navigate and the vast majority have the capacity to take your credit or debit card. This is good, as because people want to be in downtown Minneapolis, the parking rates are much higher than in St. Paul.

It's getting embarrassing. Minneapolis wins again.

Minneapolis: [6] / St. Paul: [3]

Fortune 500 companies

Twenty Fortune 500 Companies call Minnesota home. Minneapolis and St. Paul host seven of them. Just who wins when it comes to being a good home for a mega-corporation?

First, St. Paul:

• Travelers Companies, Inc (#89) - Formerly St. Paul Companies until it merged with Travelers Insurance. They provide insurance. Nothing really sexy there. They have an umbrella logo.
  
• Ecolab (#457) - What is Ecolab? Do they do some sort of ecological research or environmental design? Ecolab is the formerly named Economics Laboratory. One can see why they changed their name, perhaps they just should have brainstormed longer. They make the stuff that cleans and sanitizes the world, including the British Royal Navy. They have a somewhat distinguished building in downtown St. Paul with their name on it.
  

Now, Minneapolis:

• Target (#33) - Target is a true Minnesota institution. We have Wal-Marts here, but people don't go there. Though they occasionally do stupid things, generally people like Target. Plus there is the Target Center. While Target is the largest Fortune 500 company in the Twin Cities, they are far down on the list of number of employees. They must give their money to their shareholders.
  
• U.S. Bancorp (#123) - U.S. Bancorp is headquartered here, but they have a skyscraper in Portland, Oregon. In Minneapolis, they just have a modern highrise downtown. They do, uh, banking stuff. U.S. Bancorp is a really unimaginative name, even by the standards of a financial institution.
  
• Xcel (#251) - Xcel is a major electricity provider in the upper Midwest and Great Plains. They don't have their own building, but there is the Xcel Center. But the Xcel Center is over in St. Paul. Like all other energy companies, Xcel is evil.
  
• Ameriprise Financial (#297) - A financial services company spun off by American Express. They're hip people with a cool building. They also like to keep your money and not pay their agents.
  
• Thrivent Financial for Lutherans (#370) - They are a financial services company. They are also a membership-based non-profit. Somehow they make it work. I guess even non-Lutherans can use their services, but you have to be a Lutheran member in order to use one of their insurance plans.
  

Despite being loaded down by Xcel Energy, Minneapolis is represented by higher quality and quantity of Fortune 500 mega-corporations. Minneapolis clearly hosts more fertile ground when it comes to big business. We'll leave aside whether Minneapolis should truly take pride in this, but for the purposes here it is a no-brainer.

Minneapolis wins.

Minneapolis: [5] / St. Paul: [3]

Humphrey versus Coleman

Both Minneapolis and St. Paul have had DFL mayors elected to the U.S. Senate for Minnesota. Who did better?

Hubert H. Humphrey was elected mayor of Minneapolis in 1945. Humphrey was instrumental in the creation of the DFL party, having advocated for the Democrats to join forces with the strong Farmer-Labor Party in the 1940s. Humphrey was also an early proponent of civil rights within the Democrat Party. His floor proposal to add a civil rights plank to the platform at the 1948 party convention led to Dixicrats leaving the party and supporting Strom Thurmond's third party candidacy.

Humphrey had a distinguished career in the U.S. Senate, serving from 1949 until he was elected Vice President in 1964. Humphrey ran for president unsuccessfully against Richard Nixon in 1968, and returned to the Senate during the 1970s until his death in 1978.

Norm Coleman is a former DFL-elected mayor of St. Paul, who switched to be a Republican during his tenure as mayor. Coleman was elected to the Senate against former Vice President Walter Mondale, who was replaced on the ballot following incumbent Senator Paul Wellstone's death ten days before the election. Four of Coleman's six years in the Senate have been under Republican leadership. Coleman has voted the party line and for the Iraq war throughout his term. Coleman is not known for risking his political career with principled stands. Coleman isn't even the Minnesota Republican rumored to be a vice presidential pick.

Minneapolis and Minnesotans at large are proud of Vice President Humphrey. The public affairs school at the University of Minnesota is named after him. An airport terminal is named after him. And the Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome is the current home for the Vikings and Twins (although everyone just calls it the Metrodome).

In fairness, Coleman's political career comes about 50 years after Humphrey's. Still, it is difficult to see Coleman taking a principled but unpopular stand on the floor of the Republican Convention. It is difficult to see Norm Coleman as a vice presidential pick at any point. And the heart of every DFLer quakes at the prospect of naming a school, stadium, or terminal after Norman Coleman. It's probably not going to happen.

Should Norm Coleman's political career take a very different trek, we may need to reconsider. But where things stand right now Minneapolitans have more reason to take pride in their mayor-turned-senator than the St. Paulites.

Minneapolis wins.

Minneapolis: [ 4] / St. Paul: [ 3]

Liberal arts colleges

Both Minneapolis and St. Paul host institutions of higher education. The majority of the University of Minnesota campus sits within the Minneapolis city limits. Both cities have well-regarded community/technical colleges like Metro State in St. Paul and the Minneapolis Community and Technical College. And both host private, four-year degree, liberal arts colleges.

Starting in St. Paul:

• Hamline University - Hamline has several graduate programs, but about 1900 of its students are undergrads in its liberal arts college. Hamline is affiliated with the United Methodist Church and is named after a Methodist bishop who never saw the school. Their unfortunate nickname is the Pipers.
  
• Macalester College - Macalester is seen as a serious academic liberal arts college. It is widely seen as liberal in the political sense too. On one side, the campus borders a lovely, old residential neighborhood. On the other side, students can walk up Snelling Ave to buy their drugs. It was founded by Presbyterians in the 1880s. Their unfortunate nickname is the Scots.
  
• University of St. Thomas - Is a Catholic university with several graduate programs, but also a sizable undergraduate school with about 4500 students. The university was also founded in the 1880s and is located in a nice, quiet neighborhood in St. Paul where residents can see students lug cases of beer towards campus. They are known for dis-inviting prominent Nobel laureates and telling gay faculty to "get [another] room." Their unfortunate nickname is the Tommies.
  
• College of St. Catherine - Is called a college, but also has graduate programs. St. Kate for short (yes, they change the C to a K) was started by Catholic nuns at the turn of the 20th century and boasts being the largest college for women in the country. (Men, incidentally, are welcome to participate in their graduate programs.) St. Kate's is just down the road from St. Thomas. Their unintentionally ironic nickname is the Wildcats.
• Concordia University - Concordia University is set right smack in the middle of St. Paul. It's not just a Lutheran institution, it's a Missouri Synod Lutheran school with 1000 undergraduates. They take their faith seriously. Their nickname for some reason is the Golden Bears.
  

Over to Minneapolis:

• Augsburg College - Augsburg is a Lutheran liberal arts college in the Cedar-Riverside neighborhood of Minneapolis. It was founded by Lutherans in the 1870s. It's real city living today. Augsburg also has graduate programs. Regular 4-year undergraduates number approximately 1900. Their unfortunate nickname is the Auggies.

Minneapolis may claim the majority of the University of Minnesota, but St. Paul takes the prize with private colleges.

St. Paul wins.

Minneapolis: [3] / St. Paul: [3]

Professional sports teams

They may be called the Twins, but Minnesota's professional baseball team calls Minneapolis their home. Generally, the Minneapolis/St. Paul rivalry hasn't extended to the professional teams that play in the two cities--at least in recent years. Everyone talks about the Timberwolves latest case of missed opportunities. Both sides of the metro area cheer for the Vikings on the rare occasion they have a winning season. The only pro-sport that has a team in both cities is baseball, but one is a major league franchise and one is minor league.

Which city has the most to offer when it comes to professional sports?

A quick look.

Minneapolis has:

• The Vikings
• The Twins
• The Timberwolves
• The Lynx
• The Lightening
• The Swarm
• The Vixen

St. Paul has:

• The Wild
• The Thunder
• The St. Paul Saints

Everyone who has been to a St. Paul Saints game sings praises of the experience incessantly. "They have a pig race between innings!" they'll say. Even so, ask people in the metro area how the St. Paul Saints are doing this season and just about no one will be able to answer. A much higher number will tell you how the Twins season is going and give you an in depth analysis why it's going that way.

In St. Paul's favor, they do have the NHL franchise, the Minnesota Wild. On the other hand, Minneapolis as the Timberwolves AND the Vikings. Even with losing seasons, the T-Wolves and Vikings together beat the Wild.

Minneapolis wins.

Minneapolis: [3 ] / St. Paul: [ 2]

Thune versus Goodman

With the Republicans Convention looming, politicians are debating whether to temporarily move the bar closing time from 2:00 AM to 4:00 AM. The city council members representing the downtown areas of Minneapolis and St. Paul have differing opinions on the proposal.

• Nay - St. Paul council member David Thune: "I've got 8,000 people living downtown who don't want a bunch of puking Republican lobbyists on the streets at four in the morning."
• Yes - Minneapolis council member Lisa Goodman: "We can be a cold Omaha or we can stand up and be a 24-hour city."

If we attribute the two attitudes to the entirety of the respective cities, a portrait emerges of Minneapolis as a fun place that wants to be a 24-hour city. (Anyone who has spent time in Minneapolis and also a true 24-hour city might observe that Minneapolis still has a ways to go in this regard, but still, it's trying!) St. Paul, on the other hand, is a cold (and smaller) Omaha.

To Omaha: I'm sorry you got dragged into this.

Once the work day is done, standing in downtown Minneapolis is quite different than downtown St. Paul. Downtown St. Paul can be a ghost town. The council members' attitudes reflect reality. Minneapolis is a New York City wannabe. St. Paul is a Omaha wannabe.

Minneapolis wins.

Minneapolis: [ 2] / St. Paul: [ 2]

Copycat suburbs

Visitors to the Twin Cities will hear "South Minneapolis," North Minneapolis," "Northeast," "Near North" tossed around. All refer to sections of the City of Minneapolis.

Over in St. Paul, you may hear "West St. Paul," "South St. Paul," "North St. Paul," and "St. Paul Park." All of which are completely separate municipalities that are suburbs of the City of St. Paul. Adding to confusion is the fact that the names aren't the most accurate descriptions of their geographical relationship to the City of St. Paul.

And still, that's not confusing enough! The City of St. Paul has a neighborhood named the "West Side," which is the part of the city on the south side of the Mississippi River. At least it borders the City of West St. Paul. There is another neighborhood of St. Paul called the "North End." The "North End" is nowhere near the City of North St. Paul. Indeed, the City of North St. Paul doesn't even border St. Paul; neither does "St. Paul Park" border St. Paul or any St. Paul named suburb.


Who wins? Is St. Paul so great that many of it's surrounding suburbs are St. Paul wannabes trying to emulate their wondrous neighbor? Is Minneapolis so great that it's clear that there is no competition? Perhaps the Minneapolis suburbs have such strong identities there is no need to adopt "Minneapolis?"

One thing is certain, most suburbs on either side of the metro area were not very creative in coming up with names. You have the boring-yet-brimming-with-optimism names, like Golden Valley, Richfield, Eden Prairie, Bloomington, and New Hope. And inoffensive names that were clearly picked by the same committee that designed the Canadian flag: Maplewood and Maple Grove. All very distinctive.

At some important point in the past, more people wanted to be associated with St. Paul than Minneapolis.

Despite the ensuing confusion, St. Paul wins.

Minneapolis: 1 / St. Paul: 2

Snelling Avenue versus Snelling Avenue

You may have not known this, but both Minneapolis and St. Paul have their own Snelling Avenues. St. Paul's is a major road that starts on the southern end in the Highland Park neighborhood and heads north across I-94, University Ave, Como Ave, I-35W, and continues into Roseville. Everyone in St. Paul and surrounding areas know where Snelling Avenue is.

On the other hand, few Minneapolitans and indeed few Longfellowians, know about the Snelling Avenue in the Longfellow neighborhood. The Minneapolis Snelling runs parallel and between the better known Minnehaha and Hiawatha Avenues. Snelling is partially residential and partially commercial. It discontinues north of Lake Street except for a one block length on the western edge of the Seward neighborhood.

Landmarks on the St. Paul Snelling include Macalester College, Hamline University, the Spruce Building, the State Fair grounds, Gingko Coffeehouse, and many restaurants and businesses. Landmarks on the Minneapolis Snelling include some warehouses, a neighborhood medical clinic, and an Arby's. The St. Paul Snelling has a Coastal Seafoods. On the other hand, the Minneapolis Coastal Seafoods is just a block off the Minneapolis Snelling, but one block off doesn't count.

College students in need can buy their drugs at St. Paul Snelling bus stations, particularly at and near University Avenue. Despite the police station across the street, one can probably buy drugs on Minneapolis Snelling at Lake Street if one is feeling ballsy.

The Minneapolis Snelling actually heads towards Fort Snelling. At one time you may have been able to get to the fort using that street. The St. Paul one would have had to curve significantly from its current position to get to one of the first settlements by Europeans in Minnesota.

Snelling Avenue in Minneapolis:


View Larger Map

Snelling Avenue in St. Paul:


View Larger Map

In summary, there are many reasons for one to head over to the better known St. Paul Snelling. There are few reasons to find the Minneapolis one. It's clear, the St. Paul Snelling Avenue is the superior street.

St. Paul wins.

Minneapolis: 1 / St. Paul: 1

Sly Stone versus George Michael

On the same day it's announced that Sly Stone is allegedly to appear at First Avenue, we hear George Michael is coming to St. Paul's Excel Center. Oh, and Kid Rock is also coming to St. Paul.

Minneapolis wins.

Minneapolis: 1 / St. Paul: 0