Copycat suburbs

Visitors to the Twin Cities will hear "South Minneapolis," North Minneapolis," "Northeast," "Near North" tossed around. All refer to sections of the City of Minneapolis.

Over in St. Paul, you may hear "West St. Paul," "South St. Paul," "North St. Paul," and "St. Paul Park." All of which are completely separate municipalities that are suburbs of the City of St. Paul. Adding to confusion is the fact that the names aren't the most accurate descriptions of their geographical relationship to the City of St. Paul.

And still, that's not confusing enough! The City of St. Paul has a neighborhood named the "West Side," which is the part of the city on the south side of the Mississippi River. At least it borders the City of West St. Paul. There is another neighborhood of St. Paul called the "North End." The "North End" is nowhere near the City of North St. Paul. Indeed, the City of North St. Paul doesn't even border St. Paul; neither does "St. Paul Park" border St. Paul or any St. Paul named suburb.


Who wins? Is St. Paul so great that many of it's surrounding suburbs are St. Paul wannabes trying to emulate their wondrous neighbor? Is Minneapolis so great that it's clear that there is no competition? Perhaps the Minneapolis suburbs have such strong identities there is no need to adopt "Minneapolis?"

One thing is certain, most suburbs on either side of the metro area were not very creative in coming up with names. You have the boring-yet-brimming-with-optimism names, like Golden Valley, Richfield, Eden Prairie, Bloomington, and New Hope. And inoffensive names that were clearly picked by the same committee that designed the Canadian flag: Maplewood and Maple Grove. All very distinctive.

At some important point in the past, more people wanted to be associated with St. Paul than Minneapolis.

Despite the ensuing confusion, St. Paul wins.

Minneapolis: 1 / St. Paul: 2

Snelling Avenue versus Snelling Avenue

You may have not known this, but both Minneapolis and St. Paul have their own Snelling Avenues. St. Paul's is a major road that starts on the southern end in the Highland Park neighborhood and heads north across I-94, University Ave, Como Ave, I-35W, and continues into Roseville. Everyone in St. Paul and surrounding areas know where Snelling Avenue is.

On the other hand, few Minneapolitans and indeed few Longfellowians, know about the Snelling Avenue in the Longfellow neighborhood. The Minneapolis Snelling runs parallel and between the better known Minnehaha and Hiawatha Avenues. Snelling is partially residential and partially commercial. It discontinues north of Lake Street except for a one block length on the western edge of the Seward neighborhood.

Landmarks on the St. Paul Snelling include Macalester College, Hamline University, the Spruce Building, the State Fair grounds, Gingko Coffeehouse, and many restaurants and businesses. Landmarks on the Minneapolis Snelling include some warehouses, a neighborhood medical clinic, and an Arby's. The St. Paul Snelling has a Coastal Seafoods. On the other hand, the Minneapolis Coastal Seafoods is just a block off the Minneapolis Snelling, but one block off doesn't count.

College students in need can buy their drugs at St. Paul Snelling bus stations, particularly at and near University Avenue. Despite the police station across the street, one can probably buy drugs on Minneapolis Snelling at Lake Street if one is feeling ballsy.

The Minneapolis Snelling actually heads towards Fort Snelling. At one time you may have been able to get to the fort using that street. The St. Paul one would have had to curve significantly from its current position to get to one of the first settlements by Europeans in Minnesota.

Snelling Avenue in Minneapolis:


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Snelling Avenue in St. Paul:


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In summary, there are many reasons for one to head over to the better known St. Paul Snelling. There are few reasons to find the Minneapolis one. It's clear, the St. Paul Snelling Avenue is the superior street.

St. Paul wins.

Minneapolis: 1 / St. Paul: 1

Sly Stone versus George Michael

On the same day it's announced that Sly Stone is allegedly to appear at First Avenue, we hear George Michael is coming to St. Paul's Excel Center. Oh, and Kid Rock is also coming to St. Paul.

Minneapolis wins.

Minneapolis: 1 / St. Paul: 0